Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
the biggest breasts?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.
*The following 2 blonde jokes are brought to you by Amber*
Q: How do you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde?
A: The smart ones have dark roots.
Q: How do you tell a natural blonde from a dyed blonde?
A: Blow in her ear. If she floats she's a natural blonde.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day.
A. She has a tampon tucked behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette dived off a bridge, who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde has an air bag to stop her.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: By the chipped tooth.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Walks home.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ice cream cone?
A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your fridge?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
A: Nothing - they've never met.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
T.G.I.F. ?
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
